I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize