i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
