So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
