dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
