Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
