I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you will always have a special place in my vag
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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