Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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