so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
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I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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