I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
