I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
