I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
