How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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