sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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