I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I want is dick and wine.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
