The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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