is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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