I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Quick, to the slutcave!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize