garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You are the jesus of drinking
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