im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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