well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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