Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
