My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
