he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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