The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
