So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
