Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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