Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
