I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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