I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
