Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
