i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
