bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Damn victory sex feels great
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize