Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
