I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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