I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me