I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.