Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....

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  (503): Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby.... http://tfl.nu/qo4n
  Replies (11) Good night (3066) Bad night (561)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.

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  (586): I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots. http://tfl.nu/8qei
  Replies (23) Good night (1361) Bad night (5860)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

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  (732): I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad http://tfl.nu/c88e
  Replies (15) Good night (4770) Bad night (995)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.

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  (910): I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling. http://tfl.nu/sj19
  Replies (6) Good night (2805) Bad night (848)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.

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  (504): ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town. http://tfl.nu/omo7
  Replies (14) Good night (6444) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2393) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!

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  (316): At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/842p
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (1399)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.

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  (602): After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her. http://tfl.nu/mkbl
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Lets go hit some boners bro!

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.

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  (989): Lets go hit some boners bro! (1-989): I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk. http://tfl.nu/w0yr
  Replies (7) Good night (2620) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.

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  (806): I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism. http://tfl.nu/hgk9
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.

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  (863): If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis. http://tfl.nu/mwio
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (408)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?

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  (630): I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up? http://tfl.nu/45h3
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.

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  (908): I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago. http://tfl.nu/reuq
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage

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  (317): i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage http://tfl.nu/80ag
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass

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  (361): Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass http://tfl.nu/9x8z
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (303)

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