Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  break up sex still means we will always be broken up.

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  (248): break up sex still means we will always be broken up. http://tfl.nu/dud5
  Replies (1) Good night (1010) Bad night (1235)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

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  (605): Say something about gay babies. http://tfl.nu/ehqd
  Replies (15) Good night (1262) Bad night (1634)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"

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  (720): haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya" http://tfl.nu/5qox
  Replies (30) Good night (6552) Bad night (1738)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.

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  (410): These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow. http://tfl.nu/e5qu
  Replies (32) Good night (7509) Bad night (875)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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  (315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i
  Replies (11) Good night (8778) Bad night (1168)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Howd you meet this guy?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.

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  (313): Howd you meet this guy? (612): I found him next to my pants on sunday morn. http://tfl.nu/y9t4
  Replies (6) Good night (5967) Bad night (2307)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3180) Bad night (802)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.

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  (240): One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order. http://tfl.nu/2w08
  Replies (6) Good night (2216) Bad night (1039)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

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  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
  Replies (14) Good night (731) Bad night (1466)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.

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  (902): Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure. http://tfl.nu/e9kb
  Replies (9) Good night (2028) Bad night (470)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.

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  (425): I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off. http://tfl.nu/u9dg
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (285)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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  (865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (393)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.

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  (262): In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise. http://tfl.nu/9a8z
  Replies (5) Good night (520) Bad night (519)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.

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  (847): As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from. http://tfl.nu/gvun
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?

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  (914): Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid. (917): So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then? http://tfl.nu/rhd2
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (246)

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