You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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