yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
someone owes me an orgasm
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
