Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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