I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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