try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
