The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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