God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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