I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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