i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it was like eating out sand paper
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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