You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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