you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
