Midget sex pt 2 tonight
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
