thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize