if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
