Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
