And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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