you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
