the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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