I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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