Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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