I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
