Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
