My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
