Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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