i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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