The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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